I am a blessed man! If you would have told me 10 years ago that I would have a awesome wife and 4 kid before my 32nd birthday I would have probably laughed at you. But now that I’m here I wouldn’t change a thing! I LOVE MY FAMILY! My wife and I just got back from a long LONG road trip over Christmas with our 4 kids under the age of 4. It was one of the most Amazing/horrible/memorable/terrifying/awesome trips of my life. a 8 hour drive (one way) turned into a 15 hour drive (one way).
All 6 of us in one hotel room spreading some holiday cheer for the rest of the floor to hear!
Looking back on the trip it was one I wouldn’t want to do again… But, I will remember it! Someone recently asked me on twitter (@JCGroves) how I prioritize my family.
#1 – Read good books
“Choosing To Cheat” by Andy Stanley is a great book that I highly recommend. Read one together and talk about it.
#2 – I Made It A Point To Prioritize My Family.
No one is going to do this for you…YOU have got to make it happen…and then guard your time with them with pit bull intensity!
Kym and I have a date night once every two weeks…and NOTHING is getting in the way of that…NOTHING!
I try to have a time alone with me and each one of my kids ALONE…and I don’t let ANYTHING get in our way.
I eat dinner with my family usually six nights a week (Sunday usually being the exception.)
Kym try to get away once or twice a year where it is JUST US, no one else…and that is a good thing!
AND I MADE THAT HAPPEN! If your family is important enough to you…then you will put them on the schedule and dare anyone to try to move them!
Do we have to move things around occasionally? Sure…emergencies happen, one of us gets sick, schedule do change…but that is the exception…and an “emergency” MAY happen around three or four times a year!
#3 – I remind myself that “Loving One Another” MUST Begin With Kym, Kaden, Colton, Corbin & Kenzie
If I am going to be a fully devoted follower of Christ then I am commanded to love others. And…in order to love someone you MUST spend time with them.
One of the problem I see with pastors/people in ministry is that they spend so much time “loving others” that they neglect to love those under their roof. That simply can’t be! LOVE YOUR FAMILY!
#4 – Realize That the work will never be completed.
I’m a freak…most leaders are. I’m self motivated…driven…passionate…and always think that if I just devote a little bit more time to something then it could be better.
I would literally work from 7am to 9pm if I didn’t finally come to the conclusion a few years ago that I will ALWAYS have more to do than I can possibly get done…and being ok with that means that I am learning to trust in HIS abilities rather than mine.
My advice to pastors/ministry leaders is to set a time on your schedule that you are going to leave the office. Turn OFF (Not just on silent) the phone. Shut OFF the computer and go home and BE at home and then NO MATTER what happens…DO IT! Trust me…the work will be there when you get back the next day.
If you are “the best” in everyone’s eyes and not in your wife and kids eyes you ultimately fail as a husband and a dad.
BE the Husband God has called you to be.
BE the Dad your kids need you to be
BE all that God wants you to be.
Here is a link to a great book that I’ve read a few times. It’s from one of Pastor Mark Driscoll’s sermons “Pastor Dad”
GO. Be the husband and dad God has called you to be. And Remember they are watching you!